Things I learned going to a strip bar

It was 1996 when I first went to one, I just wanted to see what the fuss was about. Yeah, it was nothing like “Showgirls” that movie I saw to check out what the saved by the bell girl was up to. Or “striptease” with Demi Moore for that matter. No fancy choreography. boobs were not that perky or they did not move at all, no in between.

Fast forward to last night, the choreography hasn’t changed much but the bodies sure are perkier. Or they work out more, or maybe I notice those things more that I am not as perky as I once use to be. 

Anyway here are a couple of observations in random order of importance. 

• The lighting is really dimmed. Great to hide stretch marks, stray hairs or dimples. Not good for photography.
• A handkerchief or bandana is not just for blowing your nose. They use it to sit comfortably on any surface or lap while wearing dental floss underwear. smart!
• Tapping someone on their shoulder with your butt or boobs is acceptable.
• They take rejection really well, after all that wiggling if the guy is not interested in a lap dance they just shrug it off. next!
• They still have to pay for their own booze! You would think they get a discount since they are the main attraction but no. And it’s 12 a drink. The horror.
• Best poses: when the butt was stuck out to the max, and tilting your head back to make hair longer and look like you are really enjoying yourself.
• Touching self looks great, unless one leg is up the air like a karate kick, and then you touch your  vagina. I still giggle. You had to be there. 
• All the dancers wear those platform heels or “stripper shoes”. Apparently they are very comfortable and have skid resistant soles. Fitness models wear them too. So I shouldn’t call them stripper shoes. They look good in pictures. They actually go with a thong. 
• It was not very busy when I was there, but the client ratio of “normal looking guy” vs. your-dad’s-weirdo-friend was about 20/80. 
• Even entertainers don’t want their face posted all over the internet.